Entry: Habit Saints Running Thursday, December 11, 2003



Easier to Run

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played

If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I
Would

Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone


Breaking the Habit

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
[Unless I try to start again]

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That i'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause i'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Breaking the Habit
Tonight


Courtesy Linkin Park's lyrics, but they are exactly how i feel.  i guess it kind of goes along with a phone call i got last night.  if one person isnt killing her, another one is.  just have the courtesey to let her recover.  i wish i could take all the pain away from her, and let her live, even if i died for it.  if i could, i would take her in my arms and shelter her from the freezing rain and the blazing sun.  i love maggie, even if it is stupid to say.  i dont have any preconceptions about her, i only know her for her, for the person i fell in love with.  un doubtedly, i would die for her, to protect her.

And Shepherds we shall be

For thee, my Lord, for thee.

Power hath descended forth from Thy hand

Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.

So we shall flow a river forth to Thee

And teeming with souls shall it ever be.

In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.

   1 comments

The Kaonashi
December 11, 2003   01:45 PM PST
 
You think you're the only one? E-mail me. I need to talk to you. I won't be uncivil, but this is important, and it involves both of us. I think there are some mistakes that need to be addressed...on both our parts. If I can't remedy the ones that matter then at least I can keep them from going on.

ShifterFrost@aol.com

Please,
Ramón

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