ok, off of rant mode
i cant affford to get sick now. not till monday. i have to stay well until sunday night, because that is when our performance is. i know the lines, actions, motivations, everything. andrew needs to either learn it or leave it. same with nick and lindsay.
Ever get that utterly sinking feeling in your chest, like you know you should have taken a shot when you had a chance? rhetorical, but honest. i almost feel empty, like i should have spoken up to avoid calamity. too fecking late now. damn. i need to learn how to talk, instead of holding back potentially threatening comments. i need to lose this nervousnes, to be able to speak exactly what i mean. maybe maggie can help, for she has absolutely no problem speaking what she thinks.
i have class now. post.
|Overlordess of the Universe! |
December 5, 2003 02:00 AM PST
First of all i would like to appologize for what i wrote yesterday Chris. I'm very sorry if i was ofensive in any way. I am just in a really done mood right now, which really is not good since it's Xmas and all. I also realize i probably, no really don't have any right commenting here at all, but i've stuck my nose in it and well here i am. All i can say is that this is not going to end pretty. And as much as i would like to be optimistic i can't be. I am probably going to have my head chewn off my Mags for posting here again but i had to apologize for yesterday's comment on the Dec. 1 post. I am stressing out right now and ranting about how no one loves me on your blog was a way to vent. If you feel like yellig nat me yourself Chris i will completley understand. Maggie I am sorry if i stuck my nose into your business but ok one the e-mail i'm sending you later was written after this and two i'm only here to apologize. I'm sorry if i've done anything wrong in anyway. Feel free, anyone to cuse me out at email@example.com
December 5, 2003 12:20 AM PST
fine, this will be the last time i ever come here, but first, you should know that your darling friend Chris came to my blog and left some very unpleasant things there...again. he involved himself in my affairs, so if you don't approve, you can tell him first.
furthermore, i don't know why you were going there in the first place, Chris, but now that i've calmed down some from last night, i'm asking you kindly, please, as someone you don't know and as someone with nothing against you as a person, just leave me in peace. what i'm going through with Maggie is between us. i know you're her friend, and i respect that, but you don't know me any more than you know all of what happened, so please leave me be. this will be my last request to you: try and understand that i feel too, and i have as much right to my feelings as you or Maggie, and this is something in which you really shouldn't get involved. i'm not saying this with any malice, but this isn't about you, and you'd do better to give Maggie your support than to waste your energy railing on me, whom you truly can't have any way of understanding. please just let me be. goodbye, and, whoever you are, i sincerely hope you have a good life.
|The Apparent Root of All Evil |
December 4, 2003 03:58 PM PST
Ok. First, to Eibhlin: I never asked you to come here. And it's kind of perturbing that you left that kind of comment. I don't want any of my friends to know Chris because I don't want the situation to be like yours with Revie. Chris and Santa Fe seperate for a reason, he's my friend, not yours. Please don't comment on his blog, I'd really appreciate it.
Secondly, to Ramon: No one asked you to read this blog. It's Chris's opinion and he's allowed to think and say whatever he wants. It's his blog. So don't object. It's not hurting you. Also, don't blame me for other peoples' opinions, I know you got hurt, and I feel badly about that, but it's honestly not my fault, don't try to make it. Please.
Lastly, to Chris: I'm sorry about this. I just seem to cause problems for everyone.
December 4, 2003 12:03 PM PST
You're a moron. Shut up. You don't know me, so lay off and stay away from my blog. I'm not objectifying her, so maybe you should stop being an obsessive older brother figure and get back to dealing with her. I want nothing to do with either of you. If you come to my blog or mention me every again I'm going to get really pissed. Please just leave me alone.
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